Sunday, January 29, 2012

Offering God the leftovers

I have a daily routine in the morning that I get up a little early, read some scripture, pray, and listen to some worship music. And if I don’t get my daily dose of God, I get cranky! Not spending time with God in the morning and filling my head with his truths and love makes me absolutely MISERABLE! But even knowing myself, and knowing this fact, I still find myself putting off my quiet time with God and making excuses to myself for not spending more time with Him.

My brain feels so jammed with information, schedules, and things I need to get done that God often takes a backseat. I thought, ‘if I just get all of this done then I will have some quiet time, and I’ll feel better.’ But anyone can see the flaw in this plan, because as soon as I finish one thing, five more items get added to the to do list.

So I have been hastily reading the bible for five minutes before class or saying a quick ten second prayer every other day. But five minutes with God just isn’t enough to satisfy me. And God wont accept being second priority in my life as I realized while reading 2nd Samuel.

In 2nd Samuel 24:18 King David is told to make an alter to the Lord. So he goes to a threshing floor and the man he is buying it from offers him everything he wants for free. Sounds great right? Wrong. I reread this sentence a couple of times, because I so much felt God talking to me through it. David says something that really made me stop and think about my life.

He says in verse 24, “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”

For David, offering to the Lord free items, would be too easy, too convenient. This verse convicted me and made me realized that I had only been willing to give to God when it was convenient for me, when it cost me nothing. Then I’m reminding of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, the sacrifice that cost Him EVERYTHING. Jesus sacrificed his life and I wont sacrifice an hour of sleep? Hmm, I’m thinking maybe my priority’s are out of order.

This passage made me think all the way back to Genesis 23 to the story of Abraham burying Sarah. A man offers to give him a free cave where he can bury her. But just like David, Abraham refuses to accept the free gift. He loved his wife so much that he wanted to honor her by giving of himself. If this man loves his wife so much to give of himself for her while she is dead, how much more should we honor and give to our God?

Another Bible passage that talks about offering up the very best of ourselves is found in Genesis with the story of the very first ever sibling rivalry. Abel brought God the very best of his flock, while Cain simply brought some of the fruits of the soil. We see that Abel brought God the best he had, while Cain’s heart wasn’t really in it.

And God see’s what’s in our hearts, every motive and every intention. God would not accept Cain’s offering because he wanted more from him, he wanted more from his son.

I want God to want more from me. I don’t want to treat God as if I don’t need Him, because I most definitely do. The things that we spend the most time doing are the things that we are most passionate about. Just like the things we spend the most time thinking about are what our lives will reflect.

If we claim that Jesus is our savior then He should be the thing that we invest the most time in. Especially when its not easy, especially when it cost us something.

Its not always easy to give God time, energy, and resources. There are times when I’ve had a hard day or I’m in a bad mood and I don’t feel like reading the bible or talking to God. But that’s when it means the most. We are to give of ourselves to God until we don’t have anything left to give.

Since I love love love music, I’m going to post a song at the end of every blog that I think you should check out.

So song recommendation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM4RjgRyieQ





Monday, January 9, 2012

You Can Come As You Are


My last blog post talked about how important it is to run to God in the midst of trouble or difficulties. But then God totally convicted me of the way that I was holding myself back from Him. You see, I sometimes have this ridiculous notion that before entering God’s presence I have to fix myself up. Thinking to myself, “He is the God of the universe! To even be in His presence is an honor! I have to have it all together before I go talk to Him.”


But God really showed me that this is the opposite of what He wants our relationship to be like. I find it most difficult to go to God right after I have sinned, because that’s when the regret and shame make themselves most known. That’s when we feel at our lowest point, and we think to ourselves, “After messing up again and again how could I possibly stand in God’s presence?” So we try to clean ourselves up instead of admitting to God that we are a complete mess.


But really does it even matter? Even if we did everything almost perfectly, it would still always fall short of the glory of God. Even our very best effort is as filthy rags compared to the glory and magnificence of God. So we cant think to ourselves that after sinning we are no longer worthy to stand in God’s presence, because on our own we can never measure up anyway.


However, Hebrews 4:15-16 gives us hope.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

We are supposed to go to God with our chin up, confident that although we feel so unworthy, God has called us to be his sons and daughters.

I really love psalm 51, and the way that David is so open and honest with God about the place he is at. He wrote this psalm after confronted about his adultery with Bathsheba and eventual murder of her husband.

Psalm 51:1-5 “Have mercy on me O God according to your unfailing love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.”

David has committed a sin that will result in the suffering of many people. It would be understandable if, in his shame, David had hidden himself from God. But this is not the case, instead David wisely marches right up to God and confesses everything. He doesn’t try to hide what he has done, or make excuses, he actually pours out his sin to God. Of course he first needed a good shove in the right direction by an awesome prophet named Nathan.

My favorite part of the psalm starts with verse 7,“Cleanse me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow…Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me.”

To me these words are so beautiful. They create a mental image of God taking something dirty and stained, and transforming it instead into an object of beauty and cleanliness.

Most days I don’t want God to see my failure, or the unlovely parts of my character. Sometimes I feel as though I have to prove to God that I deserve to be called his daughter. Lately when I’m having my quiet time I’ve found myself starting with, “Hey God, its me Katie. I’m just so joyful and grateful and everything is just peachy”.

That’s when I hear God saying, “Yeah, right. Start over”.

God says you can put on a smile for everyone else but when you come to me, you be genuine. You be real. I mean really, what’s the point of pretending? God see’s it all anyway. Even the parts I’m ashamed of, that I don’t want god to see. He sees them and he loves me the same. So we come to Jesus with nothing, but aching to receive. Longing to be filled overflowing with his goodness and love. Our father always provides. We will never walk away from him feeling unsatisfied.

If you are holding things back from God or need to tell him how much of a mess you are and ask for healing, you should do it right now. It might be scary or intimidating, but it is so worth it. He is God, but He is also your loving father who wants to hear from His child how they are honestly doing.

This song is pretty amazing and I would recommend it to anyone to listen to. It really talks about going to Jesus exactly the way you are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U-MSwd6zMU&feature=fvwrel