His faithfulness never fails to astound me. His goodness
makes me want to throw my head back and laugh in happiness.
May these hallelujahs be multiplied
A year and a half ago God told me that I would go to Cairn
University and become a counselor. I was hopeful, but doubts were creeping up
in my mind.
Sophomore year of college I sat in my car crying because my
GPA just missed the requirements to be an education major. I thought I wanted
to be a teacher and suddenly that door had closed I felt like all my dreams
were crushed. I didn’t understand what God was doing, I didn’t understand why
He wasn’t giving me clear direction. All of my friends were confident about
where their lives were going and I felt stuck and directionless.
I didn’t understand what God was doing, but He knew what He
was doing. He had a beautiful plan for me.
I am so incredibly grateful that God didn't let me become an education major. I'm so glad that He didn't let me have my own way. Instead, because He is a good father, He lovingly steered me in the right direction.
Looking back I see that God clearly spent a year developing
my trust in Him. He only ever allowed me to see two steps ahead of me, while
I’m the kind of person who likes to look a mile ahead. When family asked what
my next steps and goals for the future were it panicked me a bit to have to
say, “I’m not sure. God hasn’t showed me that far yet.”
He gave me tiny bits at a time.
I want you to help hurting people
A month later
I want you to be a
counselor
A month later
I want you to go to grad school
A month later
I want you to go to Cairn University
And I spent the whole year saying, “But God what about this?
What about that?” I felt frustrated because I couldn't see where I was going. But He knew.
It seemed like an impossible situation. There were so many
things I was unsure of, so many reasons to worry.
I had no choice but to trust. And as I began to trust I began to feel safe. For the first time, He was in the drivers seat and I wasn’t needlessly calling out directions from the backseat.
The Lord is so wise. He knew that the way to build my trust
was carefully and slowly over that one year.
I began to experience great joy as I let Him carry the
weight while I simply rested in His will.
And now I see that He has led me exactly where He promised
He would.
I know that I have read His promises over and over and I
have heard His promises over and over.
But the other day these realizations hit me fresh and brand new all over again and left me crying like it was the very first time I had ever heard them.
He is good to me.
He loves me.
He is taking care of me.
He’s not going to leave me or abandon me
He has good plans for my life
Oh that I would always remember these sweet words.
I’m praying that Jesus would give me a heart that is always
full to the brim with His truths. He knows that even though I know these truths, I constantly need them reinforced. And He promises that He will always be reminding me.
I’m so in awe of His faithfulness. So in awe of His
trustworthiness. Every time I think I couldn’t possibly love Him anymore than I
already do, He gives me one thousand more reasons to fall even more in love
with Him. I’m content to spend the rest of my life falling more in love with
Him.
I know that in the future doubts will try to wiggle their
way back into my brain. So I am putting down a memorial stone right now. The
next time I am tempted to despair I will look back and remember the Lord’s
faithfulness to me, and how He kept His promise to me.
Numbers 23:19 God
is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his
mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
