Everything God gives us are gifts to give away to others. Like we’ve been given love so we give it to others, grace, mercy…. So it makes sense that forgiveness is also something that once having received, we must give away. But forgiveness is hard! I mean its not even like algebra hard, its like climbing Mount Everest in flip flops, hard! While its not fun forgiving for little things, its usually not too much of a stretch for most of us. But what about the big things? The things that actually matter? The things that really hurt? It seems impossible to forgive those things right? Sins people do that hurt us are like a knife in our hearts. But thinking about it I realize, ‘my sin is like a knife in God’s heart. My sin kept Him tied to a tree.’
And He forgives me every day over and over and over. And He does it in love. Sometimes in my humanness I think, “fine, I will forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still get to be mad at you.’
True forgiveness? Not really.
During worship one night at Rider the song, "How He loves," came on and I was reminded how much God loves me. But then God said to me, "I do love you. But you know that person you cant seem to forgive? I love them too." I forgot that Jesus loves those we find hard to love, He died for them too.Every wonder why forgiveness is so hard? Because perfect forgiveness doesn’t come natural to us! Forgiveness is from God, forgiveness is divine. The way I thought about forgiveness before was just saying the words but not really meaning them. Our human nature is to be angry and protect ourselves by not forgiving.
We have to every day fight to forgive. Forgiveness is not a simple thing, it’s a battle, at least it is for me. But the good news is that God has already fought the battle for me. And He fights if for me all over again every single day. We must make a conscious effort to reverse our way of thinking. And forgiveness does not mean that we forget. It means that we choose to not hold the offense against them.
There is a Bible verse I found that is very clear about the way our hearts are to be when dealing with others.
Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
We must be tenderhearted towards one another. Most of the time my heart is pretty tender, but sometimes it is a hard, stubborn, rock. But I remember in the same way that God was able to harden Pharaoh’s heart, He is able to soften mine.
I once heard this story about a girl who had been in a Jewish concentration camp where her family members had died. Later, she met the guard who worked at her concentration camp and he asked her forgiveness. Feeling anger pulsing through her, she lifted her arm to shake his hand and asked God to change her heart. And as He did, she felt an overwhelming supply of love for her former captor. This story amazes me and has stayed impressed on my heart since the day I heard it.
Taking a cue from this woman, every time I feel anger and unforgiveness creep back up on me I have to stop what I’m doing and ask God to once again supply the love that I cannot find anywhere. Asking Him,
“Lord help me go through the motions and you supply the rest. Lord just help me do the best I can and You stand in for me where I fail.”
I always imagine forgiveness as a big valley with two cliffs at either end. Me on one end and forgiveness all the way on the other side of the deep valley. Its one hundred percent impossible for me to bridge the gap myself. Oh, but Jesus is standing in the middle. Jesus is standing in for me because I am not competent to do it myself.
I will forgive, even if I have to do it through gritted teeth. I look forward to the day forgiveness no longer hurts. The day I am a person who forgiveness flows from pure and freely. Until then, I will rely on the grace of God to make a way for me and be everything that I cant.
Song Recomendation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AA_UM10ARs
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