I am so thankful for women in my life who speak truth to me. I am so thankful for a God who constantly showers me in truth. I am a huge feeler who feels things very deeply so it’s easy for me to get carried away with the way I am feeling even if its irrational or untrue. I need people to remind me and to ground me.
The Lord used something amazing to speak to me. I was thinking about a couple of people that I minister to and I was frustrated and thought, “I can tell you about Jesus until I’m blue in the face but ultimately you have to make a choice and I cant make it for you.” No matter how badly I desire for these people to know truth, I can’t force them to.
And I heard God speak these words to me, “Kaitlyn, those are the very same words that I’m speaking to you. I can speak words of truth over you but at some point you have to choose whether or not to believe them. At some point you have to decide that you are going to believe what I’ve said about you, about who I am, and about how I love you.” And If I desire so much for those I love to know and live out truth, how much more does my Father in Heaven desire that I live out of a place of truth and not of emotion?
In life it’s not about what you may feel or not feel at the moment, it’s about making a choice. No one else can make it for you. Others can preach to you, remind you, and encourage you, but only you can decide to live based on truth. You are the one who has to surrender your will. You are the only who has to die to self again and again and again. You are the one who gets to decide that you will live in victory and not defeat.
God has made me someone who feels things deeply and is sensitive and emotional and perceptive. Sometimes I dislike this about myself but I see how God uses these parts of me to make me more compassionate and that He is going to use this in my ministry as a counselor.
But the devil also knows about this part of me. And one of the things he does to trip me up is to make me think that the way that I’m feeling is truth, even if it’s not. This can be damaging because it sows discouragement, insecurity, and indecisiveness.
I’m not saying emotions are bad, emotions are good things but we need to carefully hold them up to the word of God and see whether or not they are true. We need to not RELY on them, but we need to rely on God’s truth. If the way I am feeling is based off of a lie that the enemy just fed me, then I am not living in a place of freedom and truth. The devil sows discouragement, condemnation, and all sorts of ugly lies. I refuse to let his lies dictate how I feel.
Living based on how you are feeling is not only deceptive it is incredibly exhausting. And I’m too exhausted to do this for even one more day. Tomorrow I am going to get up early and let my knees hit the floor. And if my selfish flesh that wants another hour of sleep wins out, I’m going to get up the next morning and try again. Satan lies and says, “You couldn’t do it yesterday, what makes you think you can do it today? You’ll never be able to do it.” And pretty soon we have given up trying entirely.
But I’m not going to try out of my own strength because I have seen that fail too many times. I am going to ask God for His supernatural power to wake up because I am confident that His power in me can do that which I am not capable of on my own. I am realizing that pride comes from basing outcomes on my ability or inability. The place of return is the cross of Christ, not a commitment to try harder.
I need to focus more on God and what He can do through me instead of what I can or cannot do. He must become greater and I must become lesser.
I appreciate so much that even though the way we feel changes rapidly, God’s truth never changes. In a whirlwind of emotion, He is the one steady, solid rock that always brings clarity and peace.
I am choosing to declare that what God says is true even if I might not always feel like believing it. I am choosing to believe that He loves me and has good plans for my life. I am choosing to believe that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I am choosing to believe that His grace is sufficient for my weakness.
I am choosing to believe truth.