Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The God Who See's Me

Last week I learned a lot about God. I used God’s word to demolish some false truths and beliefs that I had stored up in my head.

I have this unfortunate habit of feeling unworthy to be called Gods child. I doubt that God loves me, despite His constant, reliable reminders that He does.

It seems like God has to hit me over the head to get me to understand.

And God did hit me over the head as I stared up at my ceiling every night and asked the same questions over and over again. I laid out to God the same requests, the same fears, the same hurts that seem to follow me around like shadows. I told God that sometimes I just feel so less than. 

And I heard God saying to me clearly,

“What more could I do to make you understand? What more could I say, what more could I promise? Stop trying to fight for my love when its yours already! Stop trying to earn it! There is absolutely nothing you can do to earn my love. it’s a free gift, accept it. Stop trying to make yourself worthy, stop trying to redeem yourself, that’s my job.”

There are women in the bible who we see God loving so deeply and have so much compassion for. And I read their stories and I feel like I know them.

The woman caught in adultery, instead of condemning her, Jesus has mercy on her. Instead of the woman being the one filled with shame, Jesus turns the shame around on her accusers. He stoops down in the dirt with her!

This story made me realize that God is not high up in the sky looking down at me from some distant place. He is down here with me in my sometimes messy, complicated life. He is always right beside me down here in the dirt. I am not alone because He shoulders my burden.

Hagar. She was a slave, used to bring someone else what they wanted and then abused by the person who had treated her like an object. But the Lord found her! And He asked her where she was going. Of course He knew, but He cared enough to ask. Hagar is a woman who is running away from a life of having such little value and being mistreated so deeply.

God gives her some instructions she might not have wanted to hear, but He also gives her a promise. I always find God’s promises incredibly comforting. He says that He has heard her misery. How wonderful that must have been for her to feel as though no one cares for her and then to learn that God has heard her misery.

I love learning the different names of God and what they mean. I love Jehovah Rapha, The Lord our healer, and Jehovah Shalom, the Lord is peace

But my favorite, the one that means the most to me is Jehovah El Roi. This is the name that Hagar gave to God when He found her in the wilderness.

Jehovah El Roi. He is the God who SEE’S ME. There is something so comforting, so reassuring to know that God sees, and knows, and completely understands every single facet of who I am and where I’ve been. I don’t have to explain myself to Him, and I don’t have to prove myself to Him. I can go to Him with absolutely ANYTHING because He gets it.


I am important to God, I am cherished by Him, treasured by Him. Even though its hard for me to understand this kind of love, I trust that because God says He loves me like that, He absolutely loves me like that. He see’s everything about me and He loves me the same. Is there anything better than being loved by God?

I was cleaning out my room and I found this note that I had written to God months and months ago, pouring out my heart about how I felt about a difficult situation. When I read the last part I had written (below) I was so overwhelmed. In the present I had forgotten the truths that I had written down months before. Now it hangs on my wall so I can read it everyday until it is written on my heart.

He see’s your weariness, and offers His strength
He see’s your feelings of inadequacy, and offers His grace
He see’s your pain and suffers beside you
He see’s your doubt and gives you reason to trust Him
He see’s your worry and anger and offers you peace
He see’s you stumble and helps you back on your feet
He see’s your small steps of obedience and cheers you on.


Song Recommendation: Who You Are by Unspoken

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcgRMJlLCcU