Monday, October 13, 2014

Is He Really Enough?

Lately I’ve been grumbling in discontent. Like the Israelites grumbling in the desert, I too am grumbling for things God isn’t giving me. Like a five year old, sometimes I find myself thinking, “God, why are you being so mean? You know how much I want these things, why aren’t you giving them to me?”

And then in church they played this song,

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough 


And it stopped me cold. Because if I was being honest with myself, truly, completely honest, I haven’t been acting like He is enough for me. In fact, somewhere deep down I haven’t been feeling like he’s enough. I’ve been looking around instead of looking up.

Instead of being thankful, I’ve been bitter.

Do I really live like He is enough for EVERY need, am I COMPLETELY satisfied?

On my own I’m never satisfied and I always want more of what I don’t have and what I think I need. What I think I deserve. What I think will make me happy.

But like a father, He lovingly calls me back to Himself and says, “Come back, come back and remember.”

‘Remember that your heart was made to find satisfaction in me and nothing else could ever possibly do.

Remember how I saved you, remember how I cleansed you and washed you and loved you and kept you.’

Remember how I led you and comforted you and carried you. Remember that I cherish you.

It’s when we stop remembering that we start grumbling.

Take my heart, I lay it down at the feet of you whose crowned
Take my life, I'm letting go
And I will worship You, Lord, Only You, Lord
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything

Instead of proclaiming this during worship, I decide to sing it as a prayer. A prayer begging God to daily give me a heart that is wholly devoted to Him and satisfied in Him.

My heart wants so many other things but I am choosing to lay it down at Jesus’ feet. I am choosing to wrench my heart out of my clenched hands and give it to God. I want Him to have my entire heart

I will tell of the kindnesses of the Lord, the deeds for which he is to be praised,
according to all the Lord has done for us—according to his compassion and many kindnesses. He said, “Surely they are my people, children who will be true to me”; and so he became their Savior…In his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them. Isaiah 63