How sweet it is to Trust in Jesus

His faithfulness never fails to astound me. His goodness makes me want to throw my head back and laugh in happiness.

May these hallelujahs be multiplied

A year and a half ago God told me that I would go to Cairn University and become a counselor. I was hopeful, but doubts were creeping up in my mind.

Sophomore year of college I sat in my car crying because my GPA just missed the requirements to be an education major. I thought I wanted to be a teacher and suddenly that door had closed I felt like all my dreams were crushed. I didn’t understand what God was doing, I didn’t understand why He wasn’t giving me clear direction. All of my friends were confident about where their lives were going and I felt stuck and directionless.

I didn’t understand what God was doing, but He knew what He was doing. He had a beautiful plan for me.

I am so incredibly grateful that God didn't let me become an education major. I'm so glad that He didn't let me have my own way. Instead, because He is a good father, He lovingly steered me in the right direction. 

Looking back I see that God clearly spent a year developing my trust in Him. He only ever allowed me to see two steps ahead of me, while I’m the kind of person who likes to look a mile ahead. When family asked what my next steps and goals for the future were it panicked me a bit to have to say, “I’m not sure. God hasn’t showed me that far yet.”

He gave me tiny bits at a time.

I want you to help hurting people

A month later

 I want you to be a counselor

A month later

I want you to go to grad school

A month later

I want you to go to Cairn University

And I spent the whole year saying, “But God what about this? What about that?” I felt frustrated because I couldn't see where I was going. But He knew.

It seemed like an impossible situation. There were so many things I was unsure of, so many reasons to worry.

I had no choice but to trust. And as I began to trust I began to feel safe. For the first time, He was in the drivers seat and I wasn’t needlessly calling out directions from the backseat.

The Lord is so wise. He knew that the way to build my trust was carefully and slowly over that one year.  

I began to experience great joy as I let Him carry the weight while I simply rested in His will.

And now I see that He has led me exactly where He promised He would.

I know that I have read His promises over and over and I have heard His promises over and over.

But the other day these realizations hit me fresh and brand new all over again and left me crying like it was the very first time I had ever heard them.

He is good to me.

He loves me.

He is taking care of me.

He’s not going to leave me or abandon me

He has good plans for my life

Oh that I would always remember these sweet words.

I’m praying that Jesus would give me a heart that is always full to the brim with His truths. He knows that even though I know these truths, I constantly need them reinforced. And He promises that He will always be reminding me.

I’m so in awe of His faithfulness. So in awe of His trustworthiness. Every time I think I couldn’t possibly love Him anymore than I already do, He gives me one thousand more reasons to fall even more in love with Him. I’m content to spend the rest of my life falling more in love with Him.

I know that in the future doubts will try to wiggle their way back into my brain. So I am putting down a memorial stone right now. The next time I am tempted to despair I will look back and remember the Lord’s faithfulness to me, and how He kept His promise to me.

Numbers 23:19 God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?