The one that Jesus loves

I feel like people would live a lot differently if they truly believed that Jesus Christ loves them every second of the day, good or bad, happy or sad, pleasant or unpleasant.

The other day I was reading in the book of John and I noticed that John refers to himself six different times as the one that Jesus loves.

John 13:23 Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved.

John is the one who wrote the book so he is talking about himself, referring to himself as the disciple that Jesus loved.

^{John 20:2-4} She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, “They have taken the Lord’s body out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

When reading those passages I had always thought it a bit haughty of John to refer to himself as the one Jesus loves. But reading those words now I feel as though I understand what he was trying to say.

John grasped something incredibly important. He understood his identity.

The way that he identified himself was by Jesus’ love. That’s what I want. I want to know beyond all else that I am the one Jesus loves.

In life we identify ourselves many different ways. By our education, where we live, who we know, where we go to church.

While all of those things are great, none of it matters unless our ultimate identity is found in being the one that Jesus loves.

I am a daughter, a sister, a student, a friend. But on the day that I stand before Jesus the only thing that will matter is that I am the one He loves.

John didn’t always see himself as the one that Jesus loves and neither did I. We didn’t know Jesus’ love, but that doesn’t change the fact that He has loved us before we were even born.

God’s love has not changed. His views of us haven’t changed. The only thing that has changed is how we view ourselves.

John had gone from seeing himself as a career fisherman, to the one Jesus loves.

I had gone from seeing myself as insignificant and purposeless, to the one that Jesus loves.

When you are filled with sorrow, you are still the one Jesus loves

When you are filled with doubt, you are still the one Jesus loves.

When you are filled with guilt, you are still the one Jesus loves.

On the highest mountain peak or in the deepest, darkest valley, you are the one Jesus loves. There is nothing that can ever change that.

How wonderful would it be to have the kind of relationship with Christ that all He has to do is say, “Beloved,” and you know he is talking straight to you.

John had that relationship with Christ.

Sometimes during the day I find myself taking a deep breath, closing my eyes, and repeating in my head, “I am the one Jesus loves.”

In times of insecurity and fear and self doubt the most comforting words to whisper to yourself are, “I am the one Jesus loves.”

We are God’s beloved. If you look the word, “Beloved,” up in the dictionary you will find that we are not simply loved. We are GREATLY loved, dear to His heart, cherished by Him, and precious to Him.

1 John 4:7-10  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

The reason that John was able to write such beautiful words about love was because he lived fully believing that God loved him. He grasped love because he lived and walked with and was discipled by LOVE Himself.

Gods love is a promise. A promise that we are His and there will never be a time when we are not His. His love is a promise that He has called us by name, has numbered the hairs on our head, and has given us the right to call Him, “Abba, father.”

I am the one that Jesus loves.

You are the one that Jesus loves.

Lets dare to believe and live out that truth.

Learning to surrender all

Without fail, whenever I hear the song, “I surrender all” tears spring to my eyes. 

This song reminds me of a little ten year old girl standing in the sanctuary of Calvary Philadelphia week after week hearing that same melody softly start to play as the pastor began an alter call. My knees shook and my fingers tightly gripped the wooden bench in front of me. 

I stood torn between longing to walk down that long aisle and surrender all to a God that the pastor said loved me and my fear that this God wasn’t looking for someone like me. 

Looking around I saw people crying and others making that long walk and I wished desperately that I could have what they had found but I didn’t know how. But something about that song reached in and grabbed my heart and gave a mighty tug. 

Every single week that tug came and it only seemed to get stronger. But my fears and my doubts and my misconceptions about who He was convinced me to shove that tug away and pretend that I didn’t feel it. When in reality I had never felt anything more deeply. 

I'm giving You my heart, all that is within, I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King.

I'm giving You my dreams, laying down my rights I'm giving up my pride, for the promise of new life

When my dad asked how I liked the service I would shrug, not knowing how to explain the battle that happened inside my heart every week. Whenever I went to church when I was young the service bored me and I would be half asleep, having not heard a word the pastor said. But as soon as the worship leader started to play that song my heart would suddenly start racing.

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross and all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing You, for the glory of Your name, to know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

When I heard that line, "I'm waiting at the cross," I always pictured Jesus waiting beside the cross, waiting for me to come. I wish I had come sooner.

 I know now that tug was God pursuing me and pulling me towards Him. He gave me a choice. To walk towards Him or to walk away from Him. But I didn’t know Him, I didn’t know He was good and safe and kind and loving. I’m sure I was told all of those things but my heart wasn’t ready to believe it. And so I chose to go my own way. But He waited. 

And while He waited He kept pursuing me. I remember being in the car with my dad and a christian song would come on the radio. With panic I recognized that little tug, and, heart racing, I quickly changed the station.

I thought, "Don't believe there's a God who loves you and who wants to save you and make you new. Don't get your hopes up." 

And so He waited some more.

And sitting on the floor of a young life camp some eight years later a song started playing and I felt that tug again. Except this time I was ready. Living life my way for all those years had brought me to a place of emptiness where all I had left to hope in was Him. 

I still didn’t have any answers and I was still just as confused and hurt as I was when I was ten. I still wasn’t entirely convinced that He was good and safe and kind and loving but I knew that I had to find out for myself.

 By that time I knew enough to realize that nothing could save me but Him. I still didn’t know what it meant to surrender, all I knew was to cling to Jesus for dear life.

 Last night I laid in bed listening to music as I tried to fall asleep. And our song came on. And I felt that tug. That tug that says, “Move closer, come near, I’m waiting.” And all I can do is say thank you. I think of that little girl and I say, "Thank you Jesus, thank you for waiting for me. And thank you Jesus because for twenty two years (whether I knew it or not) you never left my side."

And I surrender all to You, all to You
And I surrender all to You, all to You