It Is Finished

Three days.

That is how long the disciples waited; probably feeling disappointed, confused, and crushed. Their savior was gone, just like that. How could the one they saw heal lepers and restore vision to the blind be killed and buried, just like any other man? Can you imagine the thrill of walking beside Jesus everyday and then suddenly, nothing? I feel for those disciples, because I know something they didn’t yet know. I know about the Sunday. I know what happened three days later.

 I have never had to wonder if Jesus will stay dead. But I do know of a hopelessness that comes from a life of running from God. I do feel Peters pain as he must have imagined how Jesus could possibly forgive him after he had fallen so far.


John 20:1 “Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.”

I love how Mary Magdalene gets up while it is still dark out and goes to be with Jesus. She saw him crucified, she expects a body to be in that tomb, and yet she just needs to be near her savior. Even buried, He is her hope.

It reminds me in John 6 when Jesus asks the disciples if they too would leave and Peter replies, “Lord to whom shall we go?”

Even with Him supposedly dead, they had nowhere to be but with Jesus.

“Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying…. At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”
Jesus said to her, “Mary.”She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).
Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father.” 
 

Mary stood weeping because her Lord’s body was gone, the last thing that she had left of Him. I love that though Jesus knew why Mary was weeping, He asked her how she was feeling and why.

Jesus’ relationship with Mary was intimate and He called her by name. Isn’t it so true that all He has to do is say our name and we KNOW that it is our Lord? I imagine His eyes tender, full of love and compassion as He says her name. In the same way, the Lord calls me by my full name, “Kaitlyn,” and I feel safe and loved. 

I can relate to Mary when Jesus tells her not to hold onto Him. After watching Jesus crucified and finally having Him before me, I would not have been able to restrain myself from throwing my arms around Him and weeping.

Mary’s hope has returned.

Your hope and my hope has returned.

The tomb was empty, Jesus is alive.

Jesus’ words three days earlier on the cross, “It is finished,” had proven true that morning.

Three little words that change everything.

 Because of Jesus’ death on the cross we are FREED from the penalty of our sins. We are not only freed from the penalty of our sins, we are also freed from the POWER of our sin. And because He rose again three days later, hopelessness is finished. Our guilt, our shame, it is finished.

Never again will we wait three days for our savior. He is here now. Death has been defeated. Chains and bondage and consequences of our sins and sins committed against us, THEY.ARE.FINISHED.

Jesus won us victory on the cross. How often do we not walk in that victory?

When He said, “It is finished,” He meant for you to drop all of the things you are trying to finish, to fix, and all of the ways you are trying to save yourself. Drop them all at the foot of the cross where He finished it for you. All of your burdens, everything you are carrying, they are finished. Lay them down. 

Learning to surrender all

Without fail, whenever I hear the song, “I surrender all” tears spring to my eyes. 

This song reminds me of a little ten year old girl standing in the sanctuary of Calvary Philadelphia week after week hearing that same melody softly start to play as the pastor began an alter call. My knees shook and my fingers tightly gripped the wooden bench in front of me. 

I stood torn between longing to walk down that long aisle and surrender all to a God that the pastor said loved me and my fear that this God wasn’t looking for someone like me. 

Looking around I saw people crying and others making that long walk and I wished desperately that I could have what they had found but I didn’t know how. But something about that song reached in and grabbed my heart and gave a mighty tug. 

Every single week that tug came and it only seemed to get stronger. But my fears and my doubts and my misconceptions about who He was convinced me to shove that tug away and pretend that I didn’t feel it. When in reality I had never felt anything more deeply. 

I'm giving You my heart, all that is within, I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King.

I'm giving You my dreams, laying down my rights I'm giving up my pride, for the promise of new life

When my dad asked how I liked the service I would shrug, not knowing how to explain the battle that happened inside my heart every week. Whenever I went to church when I was young the service bored me and I would be half asleep, having not heard a word the pastor said. But as soon as the worship leader started to play that song my heart would suddenly start racing.

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross and all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing You, for the glory of Your name, to know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

When I heard that line, "I'm waiting at the cross," I always pictured Jesus waiting beside the cross, waiting for me to come. I wish I had come sooner.

 I know now that tug was God pursuing me and pulling me towards Him. He gave me a choice. To walk towards Him or to walk away from Him. But I didn’t know Him, I didn’t know He was good and safe and kind and loving. I’m sure I was told all of those things but my heart wasn’t ready to believe it. And so I chose to go my own way. But He waited. 

And while He waited He kept pursuing me. I remember being in the car with my dad and a christian song would come on the radio. With panic I recognized that little tug, and, heart racing, I quickly changed the station.

I thought, "Don't believe there's a God who loves you and who wants to save you and make you new. Don't get your hopes up." 

And so He waited some more.

And sitting on the floor of a young life camp some eight years later a song started playing and I felt that tug again. Except this time I was ready. Living life my way for all those years had brought me to a place of emptiness where all I had left to hope in was Him. 

I still didn’t have any answers and I was still just as confused and hurt as I was when I was ten. I still wasn’t entirely convinced that He was good and safe and kind and loving but I knew that I had to find out for myself.

 By that time I knew enough to realize that nothing could save me but Him. I still didn’t know what it meant to surrender, all I knew was to cling to Jesus for dear life.

 Last night I laid in bed listening to music as I tried to fall asleep. And our song came on. And I felt that tug. That tug that says, “Move closer, come near, I’m waiting.” And all I can do is say thank you. I think of that little girl and I say, "Thank you Jesus, thank you for waiting for me. And thank you Jesus because for twenty two years (whether I knew it or not) you never left my side."

And I surrender all to You, all to You
And I surrender all to You, all to You

Expecting A lot From God

At bible study the other morning the leader asked a question about what we want now that we have finished the book of James. And that made me think, ‘what do I actually want? From life, from God, from myself?’ Thinking about it I realized, I want a lot of things!

But today I decided I’m not just going to want them anymore, I’m going to get them, I’m going to be them.

What I want is to spread some HOPE. I know what it’s like to be without hope, and I also know what it’s like to be handed hope, and suddenly the world is full of color again. I want to spread some light in the very darkest places, to the most hopeless, lost, heartbroken people.

I want to stop just reading the bible and actually start doing what it says! I want those words written on my heart, not just in my journal.

I want Jesus to use me, powerfully.

I want to be all of the things that the book of James talks about

I want to be kind, merciful, honest, forgiving, gentle, humble and patient

I want to be someone who is never afraid to speak the truth…in love.

I want to be a woman of integrity.

That’s what I want.

I want to wake up in the morning already expecting God to do the impossible.

I want to be a blessing and I want to count mine every minute of the day.

I want to love the least, like He loves me.

I want to count it ALL joy. Everything. All the good, all the bad, and everything in between.

I want to start living the life that God has planned for me.

I want to boldly share how God has radically, literally saved my life. I want to be a light for all to see my wonderful Father.

And I know he is so faithful, never failing, all powerful.

I believe

What do YOU want from God?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7T1dlzLjIE

I was blind, but NOW I SEE

I went to the boardwalk about a week ago with some friends to evangelize and just have conversations with people about Jesus. This was the first time I had ever done something like that and I was so nervous!

I thought, ‘I don’t have all the answers! I’m not smart enough to get the message across.’

I thought, ‘I’m not a good speaker! When I get nervous I stumble and fumble and look foolish.’

But out of obedience to God, I went to the boardwalk anyway.

And I’m glad I did.

When I started talking to people and they started asking hard questions, its true, I didn’t have all the answers. And I got a bit frustrated with the hypothetical scenarios thrown at me. I just wanted to make them see, but its hard to put into words something that you have experienced.

I just needed to share my story. To say, this is who I was, and this is how Jesus saved me.

I could sit and talk theology with you and dissect every line of the Bible but then we would be missing the point! The real living, breathing proof right in front of our eyes!

In John chapter 9 Jesus heals a man who was blind from birth and he is taken to the Pharisees. The man tells him that Jesus performed a miracle! The man tells them, he washed my eyes with mud and now I see.

Instead of rejoicing and giving thanks to God, these men debate and question the man about rules and regulations. They were missing the point!

Finally after continuing to be questioned, the man says, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!”

It doesn’t matter to the man what day it was that brought him healing, all he knows it that his eyesight has been restored!

Instead of trying to answer every hypothetical situation and loaded question, I just wanted to say,

“Don’t you get it? Don’t you see how wonderful Jesus is?

I was blind but now I see!

I was a prisoner but now I’m free!

I was broken but now I’m healed!

I was lost but now I’m found!

I was dead but now I’m alive!

I was hopeless but now I have found hope!”

Some people aren’t going to be satisfied unless you can answer every single question and reassure them on every single issue about God.

But I cant do that. I cant answer enough questions to get someone to put their trust in God.

All I can say is that I’m not who I once was, and because of Jesus Christ I have joy and hope and love and freedom and salvation.
Song recommendation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ4yNYY1hHM