Feeling World Weary

The other night I was feeling tired. Not tired physically, I was feeling world weary. 

You know, those days when all that you see around you in the world is loss and brokenness and sin and your heart has just been weighed down too far. The kind of day that makes you ask, "God, where are you? Don't you care? Don't you see?" 

The days when you can't remember how to not take all the hurt of the world into yourself. Days when you hear stories of slavery and exploitation and abuse in faraway countries and your stomach drops and you grasp for some finite way to help and come up empty. When you long to reach out and embrace and comfort and speak words of truth, but your arms can't reach that far. 

Driving home a couple of nights ago I heard these words on the radio and they said everything I was feeling. This time your heart has had enough, sick and tired of everything that's so messed up.

Do you ever just get so tired of living in this world that has fallen so far? I recently heard the story of a little girl in Latin America who was abused. And I wish more than anything that I could tell her face to face of the infinite value and worth she has as God's precious daughter. I wish I could tell her that God made her for so much more than to be used to satisfy someone's selfish desires. 

God is so good to me. He is the ultimate comforter, my ultimate comforter. In moments like this He draws Himself closer so that we can grieve together in agreement. I so love that God never rushes me through sorrow or demands my joy. He gave me almost two days to feel sad before He greeted me with words of comfort and truth. 

A lot of times when we're sad we don't want people to try to comfort us or give us nice answers. We just want someone to be sad with us, and thats what God did for me. 

He most often ministers to me through music. Today He met me in a quiet place with a song whose words speak to my soul and reach my heart. 

I asked, "God where are you?" And He answered,
I am the Lord your God, I go before you now. 
I stand beside you, I'm all around you.
Though you feel I'm far away, I'm closer than your breath.
I am with you, more than you know

God asked me why I feel the need to carry the weight of the world when it is He who is my peace.

I am the Lord your peace, no evil will conquer you.
 Steady now your heart and mind, come into My rest. 
Oh, let your faith arise, lift up your weary head. 
I am with you wherever you go
. Don't look to the right or to the left but keep your eyes on Me. 
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved. I am the hand to hold

One  thing that spoke to me the most was the line, "Come into my rest." 

Don't we rush around trying to be everything, do everything, fix everything? We feel like we need all the answers. But God gently invites us to come away with Him to a quiet place. To come into His rest and experience His peace. 

Resting in His peace I feel like I can keep on loving in this crazy, messed up world. That I can start looking for the good in bad situations. That in depravity, I can look for reasons to be thankful. 

That doesn't mean my heart no longer feels the hurts of our world. It means that I can take all of that hurt to my heavenly Father whose arms DO reach far enough to wrap around the whole world. My God's arms wrap around the orphan and the widow, the hopeless and helpless, the broken, the lost, and afraid. I can take all of the hurt to my God who is in the process of redeeming everything. 

What is there in your life that is pulling you down? What is God asking you to bring to Him? 

Into the lions den and the fiery furnace

Its been a rough week. I have stuffed my schedule so full of activity that I haven’t gotten a chance to sit and recharge and spend a lot of time with God. And the devil knows that! And he has just been attacking, hitting where it hurts, bringing up old wounds.

I’ve been going to a women’s bible study and really taking time to do the workbook that accompanies it and it has been like a breath of fresh air.

In the workbook I was reading a passage in Daniel, and noticed something that I never had before.

God did not immediately save Daniel. Lately I’ve noticed that I can be self focused and demanding of God. I want God to move in the way I think He should, WHEN I think He should.

But what I noticed when reading Daniel that…

DANIEL WENT INTO THE FURNACE.
And…
DANIEL WENT INTO THE LIONS DEN.

I love the way these three guys answer the king after he threatens them with a fiery furnace.

Daniel 3:16 Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

These three guys committed to serving God even if He chose not to save them! They trusted that no matter what the outcome, God was faithful and that His will (even if it be them dying in a furnace), was the best way to go.

When God doesn’t come through for me in the way that I think He should, I sometimes feel betrayed or rejected. But I want to be like Daniel, content no matter what the outcome, knowing that God’s plan is ALWAYS the best plan.

God does choose to save Daniel and his friends, but they are still thrown into the furnace!

In this story God chooses to deliver them THROUGH the trial, not FROM the trial.

In the story of Daniel in the lions den, Daniel heard that anyone worshiping anything other than the King would be thrown into the lions den.

So Daniel promptly goes home and gave thanks to God.

Daniel didn’t go home and plead for his life, he went home and gave God thanks! So many times I find myself grumbling and complaining. But I realize even in times of hardships, there is still so much to be thankful for!

So Daniel was thrown into the lions den and stayed there all night long. And in the morning not a single scratch was found on him.

Daniel trusted that God would pull him through unscathed, but he spent all night with lions!

I don’t like trials. Not a fan. I just want God to save me BEFORE I’m thrown into the furnace or the lions den. And sometimes He does.

But other times, He knows that its wiser to let me go through the fire and to save me at the end.

The waiting period in the middle makes me cling to the hand of God and search for Him with all my might. If God had saved me right away, I would have called out a quick, ‘thank you’ and have been on my way.

Going through the furnace reminds me how desperately in need of God I am. In times of distress and hardship and pain, I find God so much closer by my side than when I feel myself competent on my own.

I know that even when I’m going through trials that God never leaves my side, not even for a single moment.

Still sometimes when things don’t go my way and trials come I quickly forget this lesson. I’m praying God will soften my heart and mold me into someone who is content to ride out the storm while holding His hand.

1 Peter 1:7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.
Thank you Jesus for the refining fire which will take this lumpy piece of coal, tossed around by a sinful world, and mold it into something beautiful that will glorify Your name.

This is a quote from a book by Joni Eareckson called, “A place of healing.” It’s a great book that I would recommend and I love this quote.

He has chosen not to heal me, but to hold me. The more intense the pain, the closer His embrace.

Song Recommendation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHGU3z10fo0